Poll: 83% of Democrats Considering Running For President | HumorOutcasts

Poll: 83% of Democrats Considering Running For President

February 6, 2019
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Poll: 83% of Democrats Considering Running For President

With the announcements by California Senator Kamella Harris, Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren, New York Senator Kristine Gillibrandt, Senator and former Newark Mayor Corey Booker, South Bend, Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg, etc. to throw their hats into the ring for the Democratic Presidential nod, a recent Gallup poll asked Democrats where they stood on the crowded field. The results showed 83% of Democrats are actually considering running for the Presidency. When asked if that number was “Democrats in office,” a spokesman for Gallup replied, “Nope, that’s all Democrats.” Adding: “We think the number might be higher, because we were unable to poll members of the Kennedy family.”

Prospective Democratic candidate Thomas Fletcher, a bartender from Dayton, Ohio said, “Why not me? I come from a bigger family than Beto O’Rourke, so I’m sure I’ll get more votes.”

When reached for comment on who else might be running, chairman for the Democratic National Committee Tom Lopez, responded, “This will go way quicker if I just say who won’t be running.”

Paul Lander

Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of — winning the Nobel Peace Prize or sending Sudanese peace activist, Fatima Ahmed Ibrahim, to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of central Africa’s indigenous people. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has worked as a writer and/or producer for shows on ABC, NBC, Showtime, The Disney Channel, ABC Family, VH1, LOGO and Lifetime. In addition, he’s written standup material that’s been performed on “Fallon,” "Maher" “Letterman,” “Conan” and “Last Comic Standing.” His humor pieces have been accepted at American Bystander, McSweeney‘s, The New Yorker, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog, Santa Fe Writers Project Journal and Humor Times. He has won awards from the National Soc. of Newspaper Columnists, London's Blogger's Bash and Univ. of Dayton's Bombeck Workshop. Now, on to Paul’s time commanding Special Forces in Khandahar…

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5 Responses to Poll: 83% of Democrats Considering Running For President

  1. brianansorge
    February 12, 2019 at 2:15 am

    When I first read the headline, I laughed and the first thing I thought was, “this has to be from the Onion!”

    Then, I realized, this may be a serious poll and, consequently, “real” news.

    If so, that would be a lot of potential nominees for the DNC to give the “Bernie Treatment” and throw under the bus.

    And, it WILL be interesting to know whom they’ll anoint this time (before the DNC Convention) and whether or not a “Trump” will crash the party.

    I’m an equal opportunity “Smack The Status Quo” voter. I voted for “Tweedle Dum” (Trump) in 2016.

    I’ll be more than glad to vote for “Tweedle Dee” next time if the Democratic Party cadidate is actually not a life-long politician and not a TOTAL leftist. Hell, I voted for Slick William Clinton—the first time.

    I am NOT pathologically partisan and will do ANYTHING to rebel/resist/wreak havoc.

    Either way, I’m one, poor, homeless guy that is TIRED of politics and the “government” trying to “help” me.

  2. Brian Ansorge
    February 12, 2019 at 1:42 am

    I honestly thought this was an Onion headline when I first saw it in my RSS reader. Really. Well, I don’t know what to say except … that’s a lot of candidates for the DNC to give the “Bernie Treatment” to. No?

  3. Brian Ansorge
    February 12, 2019 at 1:41 am

    I honestly thought this was an Onion headline when I first saw it in my RSS reader. Really. Well, I don’t know what to say except … that’s a lot of candidates for the DNC to give the “Bernie Treatment” to. No?

  4. February 10, 2019 at 5:33 pm

    I’m in!

  5. February 6, 2019 at 5:47 pm

    Seems like that happens every election though, doesn’t it? Except when there’s a Democrat incumbent running for re-election.



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