- Thou shall never use the word “jogger”.
- Thou shall never say “I am not a runner”. If you run, you are a runner.
- Thou shall never wear cotton.
- Thou shall never compare yourself to other runners. A 12-minute mile is just as far as a 6-minute mile.
- Thou shall remember to ask for running gear at Christmas and on your birthday.
- Thou shall remember to say “another one bites the dust” under your breath when you pass another runner during a race.
- Thou shall not give false race results (remember, it’s posted online).
- Thou shall not steal your friends’ bananas at the post-race party.
- Thou shall not drone on endlessly to your friends about your last race results.
- Thou shall not covet your neighbors’ medals.