Ten Commandments for Runners:

 

  1. Thou shall never use the word “jogger”.
  2. Thou shall never say “I am not a runner”. If you run, you are a runner.
  3. Thou shall never wear cotton.
  4. Thou shall never compare yourself to other runners. A 12-minute mile is just as far as a 6-minute mile.
  5. Thou shall remember to ask for running gear at Christmas and on your birthday.
  6. Thou shall remember to say “another one bites the dust” under your breath when you pass another runner during a race.
  7. Thou shall not give false race results (remember, it’s posted online).
  8. Thou shall not steal your friends’ bananas at the post-race party.
  9. Thou shall not drone on endlessly to your friends about your last race results.
  10. Thou shall not covet your neighbors’ medals.

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