“It’s the fairest thing we could do, given that we won’t be able to vaccinate everyone in the first few months of 2021,” says Nevada governor Steve Sisolak. “We’re retrofitting 10,000 slot machines in Las Vegas casinos to dispense a vial of the vaccine whenever three syringes in a row show up on the machine an individual is playing. Just about everybody will have a chance to win a dose, because who can’t afford to spend a quarter?
“This will be an especially good deal for Nevada’s elderly white women, a high-risk group who really love their slots but don’t like to wear masks while playing…..or while smuggling Buffalo wings into their handbags at Harrah’s all-you-can-eat lunch buffet. Also, as Governor, I pledge to install at least two retrofitted machines in every nursing home and long-term-care facility in the state. We will not forget our most vulnerable citizens. Of course, every quarter counts in our devastated economy these days.
“We’re thrilled that Nevada is taking the lead in developing a quintessentially American strategy for attacking a global public health problem. I hope Dr. Fauci is proud of us.”