This is not the time to gloat, Biden/Harris Brigade. Rather, you should follow the advice of Otis Redding and “Try a Little Tenderness.” Here are 10 things you can say to your Republican acquaintances that will build bridges and facilitate healing:
- “Hey, I feel your pain. If the campaign had lasted just two more weeks, Rudy Giuliani would have delivered the goods on Hunter and then the whole damn Biden family would have been in jail by Thanksgiving.”
- “Just between you and me, I don’t have any black friends either.” (Hint: this comment is twice as effective if the speaker is black.)
- “If the President wants to pay $130,000 in hush money to Stormy Daniels, that’s his business, not mine. Let God be the judge.”
- “I’m not sure I agree with QAnon on everything, but have you noticed that COVID-19 rates are highest in states that fluoridate their water supply?”
- “When the President returned by helicopter to the White House after having COVID, and then walked up the steps to the balcony and removed his mask, I cried like a baby. He almost won my vote that day.”
- “I’m with you in not knowing how to pronounce Kamala Harris’s first name. It rhymes with ‘arugula’, right?”
- “I think Alec Baldwin’s impersonations of President Trump on Saturday Night Live are beyond hurtful. There’s no need to be so mean.”
- “Really, what’s so bad about having a trophy wife as First Lady? Granted, Melania doesn’t talk and has a face that never registers human emotion. But not everyone can be Michelle Obama.”
- “I may disagree with Amy Coney Barrett’s views on the U. S Constitution, but she’s the hottest Supreme Court justice ever!”
- “Barron Trump never had a chance. I feel sorry for the kid.”