For the first time in the history of the conflict between Israel and Hamas, burning tires have a place at the bargaining table.
“This is long overdue,” claims the Michelin Man, speaking on behalf of the tires. “Every time hostilities break out between Palestine and Israel, protestors start setting tires on fire in the street. WHAT THE F**K IS THAT ALL ABOUT? What good does it do? When has anyone ever won a war using this strategy? The only thing you accomplish is torching a lot of vulcanized rubber.
“If Hamas and Israel want to lob bombs at one another, decade after decade, that’s THEIR business. Just leave US out of it. The tire community has lost so many to this madness: radial tires, bias-play tires, tires of all shapes, sizes, and religious beliefs. Many of our burned brothers and sisters had been abandoned by their owners, so they were already tread-worn, marginalized, and vulnerable. They deserved better fates, perhaps as tire swings for kids in the backyard.
“Let’s face it. Both sides would do well to heed the immortal words of Tina Turner:
‘I don’t care who’s wrong or right
I don’t really want to fight no more
‘Cause it’s time for letting go’.”