Anthropologists Discover Peruvian Man Who Did Not Adore Betty White

“I was never a fan,” responded Alejandro Simpatico-Cardenas, when he was asked by a team of  Cornell University researchers what he thought of the recently deceased actress.  A resident of Pucallpa in eastern Peru, Mr. Simpatico-Cardenas claims that people overlook the fact that the beloved TV personality was responsible for originating the concept of White Privilege.  “I could never forgive her for doing that, and I don’t see how anyone committed to social justice could forgive her for doing that.”

The retired pastry chef has demanded that Pucallpa city officials remove the 30-foot statue of Ms. White from the town square, and replace it with one honoring Peruvian military hero Francisco Bolognesi. 


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