I must say myself my poetry is fine, in fact is is on the order of divine!
It is muchly richer than fine wine, or any diamond that you could mine.
So please read these words of mine, savoring each and every line.
And when finished with this tome so flash, be sure to send me some “Thank You!” cash!
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I wrote a book, then I wrote three
The new living Shakespeare I wanted to be
I wrote down all the things
That from my mind were dribbling
And paid someone else
To do all the scribbling.
They all were best-sellers
And I’ll take the credit
Of course I am the publisher
Even though I never read it.
I’m an accomplished author
Such an literary pundit
Should one ever take a loss
I’ll let my followers fund it!
I always wanted a Princess my body to caress
She of course would have to be very special for such royalty as me
So I traveled the east of Europe to find my Cinderella
One lovely and refined enough for I am such a fine fella
My Dadeoo’s money tempted many a fine honey
I could hardly keep them away so strong was my bantering bray
The Slavic girls love riches and are the opposite of American bitches
They make an obedient wife that makes for an easy life.
First I captured Ivana’s sweetness a lovely Czechoslovakian
And lived in near marital bliss then traded her in for something Slovenian
Melania was feminine fatale a truly vampish doll
My chemistry started to spike when I saw what she looked like
When wearing not even a stitch I hurried up and got hitched.
I have such a magnificent brain
So much that it’s hard to explain
How one could be so wonderfully bright
And yet the press thinks that it’s trite
And hound me eternal
With a meanness that’s infernal.
It gives me great strife
And also upsets my wife
When they call me a ‘halfwit’
Which I know is half of a ‘fullwit’
(That proves that I’m smart
And not just some dumb fart!)