Hey! Can You Please Get That Irish Contributor Of Yours To Stop Sending My Son And His New Wife Those Obnoxious, Disparaging Tweets? They Don’t Even Like My Music!!

Memo From The Desk Of Jon Bon Jovi To HumorOutcasts Website And One Certain Writer In Particular………

OK, it is one thing when someone razzes on me because they don’t like me, my singing, my songs, my band or the fact that I am still smoking good looking at an age when most men are bent over with rheumatism and using a cane (too bad!). But you don’t have to be taking your poop out on my son and his woman just because he’s studly and she is hot like the Jersey boardwalk at midday! 


You think yer gonna get a chick like her and she’s got bucks and fame too? Good luck with that! My boy’s gonna be gittin’ his share of YAHOO until he croaks from old age! I’d like to see you match that! Hell, even I couldn’t match that at his age! (Course, now that I’m famous and rich and still good lookin’ I don’t do bad in that category to this day!)

 

So don’t git yer panties all bunched up ‘cause my kid has a knock out for a girl and you got yer best friends sister cause she’s the only one who will let you rub her elbow. Don’t be gitten all jealous now! I’m sure you’ll git some nice, already deflowered lovely from the fish market who will make you happy even though she always reeks of cod.

 

By the way, me and the missus ain’t in Jersey no more; we is in the coolest place in New Yawk City and I don’t mean Harlem. We got our digs in GREENWICH VILLAGE!!!
How do youse like them apples???? We are right up there with Bobby Dylan and Joan Byazer or however you say his old ladies name. You don’t get no hipper than that unless you are God! And we paid 14 big ones for it and I don’t mean pennies! How is yer place over in the old country doin’? Still havin’ to walk up 6 flights and put the pigeons out at night?

 

So go ahead and take your sarcasm and march on down the road with it. Don’t let the pub door bang on you on the way out. It is about the only thing you will be banging these days! (Ha, ha,that was a good one!!) Oh, and by the way, there is a reason why they call Dublin “The New Jersey Of Ireland” and it ain’t because it’s on the east coast neither! 

 

So, in parting, just to keep you all happy and show that I’m not a vengeful guy, I’m sendin’ you a compilation of all the songs from us that were rejected by the record label. Ain’t that as cool as can be? That should keep you busy!!!

 

The only known photo of the mysterious Irishman Ledden, suspected by many to actually be a Sith Lord……..

Share this Post:

3 thoughts on “Hey! Can You Please Get That Irish Contributor Of Yours To Stop Sending My Son And His New Wife Those Obnoxious, Disparaging Tweets? They Don’t Even Like My Music!!”

  1. Actually, looking at that photo of the mysterious Irishman, he could actually just be Luke Skywalker hanging out on that rocky island where the new woman Jedi Master finds him at the end of the first movie in the latest Star Wars Trilogy!

  2. Where the word “Obnoxious” appears in your heading, I think you meant
    “Unwaveringly Dedicated and Unflinchingly Committed, Not to Mention Legendary.”

Comments are closed.