When the Food and Drug Administration announced in September that Sudafed PE was not effective in relieving nasal congestion, executives at Johnson & Johnson were faced with a choice: reformulate their product, or do something else.
They chose to do something else.
On October 9th, Johnson & Johnson CEO Joaquin Duato informed reporters that the expense of reformulating Sudafed PE was prohibitive, with no guarantee of success: “Therefore, we have opted to stick with our original product, relabeling it for a bold new marketing campaign. Today I am proud to introduce Sudafed NE (Non-Effective) and its two associated brands. Here are the taglines that we will roll out nationwide on October 16th:
— “Sudafed NE: At Least It Doesn’t Contain Fentanyl”
— “Sudafed NE: It May Not Work, But Neither Does Your 30-Year-Old Son Who Lives in the Basement”
— “Sudafed Catholic: If You Can Believe in the Virgin Birth, You Can Believe That Sudafed C Makes a Difference”
— “Sudafed NE: Does Not Cause Autism”
— “Sudafed NE: Fewer Calories Than a Tic-Tac”
— “Sudafed MAGA-Strength: Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Go-To Medication”
— “Sudafed NE: When You Want to Bluff Your Way Out of a Head Cold”
— “Sudafed NE: The Favorite Placebo of Control Groups Everywhere”
Sudafed NE will cost 30 cents more per tablet than Sudafed PE in order to recoup the costs of its marketing campaign. As Duato explained, “we’re in the health care BUSINESS, bro. Johnson & Johnson is not a charity.”
And people will still buy it.