Film fans are all too familiar with the cloying AMC Theatre video in which Nicole Kidman describes the ecstasy of going to the movies in person. After seeing it for the 100th — or 200th — time, many patrons take their own lives while still in their seats.
Now the infamous video is being repurposed for a patriotic objective. AMC is allowing the CIA to use it to extract information from suspected domestic terrorists. The video cannot be shown to international terrorists, due to a ruling by the United Nations Council on Human Rights that it is a crime against humanity to force individuals to watch it more than three times.
Because of the intense psychic pain caused by the Kidman video, there is also a problem with suspects offering false confessions. According to an anonymous CIA source, “we’ve had veteran terrorists confess to kidnapping the Lindbergh baby and assassinating President Lincoln just to get the video turned off.”
For her part, Ms. Kidman says that she is “thrilled” that her work is contributing to the fight against domestic terrorism, making her proud of her dual citizenship in Australia and the United States.
The Barney song was once used on terrorists. I heard the author of the song talk about it on the radio. It’s nice to know that we now have another antiterrorist tool.