A collective sigh of relief could be heard across the nation on Friday morning, when President-elect Donald J. Trump revealed that his nominations of Matt Gaetz and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. for high-level positions in his administration were pranks that he had hatched in partnership with editors of The Onion, the popular satirical newspaper.
Trump noted that he had nominated Gaetz and Kennedy in order to ascertain exactly how spineless the Republican members of Congress were. “Well, I certainly found out,” he chuckled. “What a pathetic collection of invertebrates. The immediate reaction of any sane person to these two nominations should have been, ‘No way, Jose!’, but what did virtually all of these Capitol Hill losers do? They pulled down their pants, bent over, and said, ‘Hey, you won the popular vote, so I guess it’s OK to do this’.
“Boy, am I going to have fun over the next four years!”