For generations, the first pet given to many Alabama youngsters has been a Sea-Monkey — the organism that hatches when you add water to freeze-dried brine-shrimp eggs. On Friday, however, the future of Sea-Monkey sales in Alabama was called into question when the state’s Supreme Court announced that brine-shrimp eggs are, in its opinion, the equivalent of frozen human embryos.
As Chief Justice Tom Parker put it, “is there truly any difference between human children and brine shrimp? Absolutely not, in the eyes of Almighty God. Hell, when they’re really, really young, both look pretty much the same. And both deserve our protection.”
Alabama Attorney General Steve Marshall told reporters on Saturday that anyone in the state who orders Sea-Monkeys through the mail will be subject to a fine of $3000 and a prison sentence of up to 6 months. This punishment applies to the adult parent who purchases the Sea Monkeys as well as to the child who keeps them in his or her room. Says Marshall: “We’re not playing games here, folks. This is Alabama.”