It seems so benign. You buy a bag of potato chips bearing the inscription, “with sea salt.” It almost sounds like the bag is bragging.
But let’s think this over for a minute.
Sea salt comes from evaporated seawater.
Seawater comes from the sea.
Do you have ANY idea what fish and other marine life do in the sea — 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks of the year, including holidays?
That’s right. They go to the bathroom.
So, along comes the Morton Salt company. Its employees scrape tons of pee-and-poop saturated salt crystals off the beach, insert the entire revolting mess into cute little jars, and then have the gall to exclaim, “By all means, eat this. It’s an artisanal delicacy. And please pay us for the privilege.”
Are they nuts? Consuming sea salt is like buying back sewage from your town’s wastewater plant, except that it’s not even your own sewage. It’s the sewage produced by a flounder or sturgeon you’ve never met. There’s a reason you never see an Atlantic mackerel snacking on a bag of Cape Cod Potato Chips. They’re smarter than we are.
It’s time to stop the madness. Would you put a juice box filled with water from the Chesapeake Bay in your child’s lunch box alongside his or her PB&J sandwich? Of course not. You’re a better parent than that.
Do the right thing. Say “no” to sea salt.
You’re the salt of the earth.