Trump Successfully Bankrupts The US Economy With His Endless Number Of Lawsuits.
Ex President and future potential dictator Donald Trump smirked widely at the press conference held in light of the Discovery that his numerous lawsuits have drained the entire Jurisdiction section of the US government and with that bankrupted the entire financial holdings of the governing body of the United States of America.
“This is an unprecedented event in the history of the country!” stated a visibly alarmed Kamala Harris in a hastily set up meeting with the news establishment after it was discovered. ¨This means we will have to shut down the whole governmental network until we can find an answer.¨
Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, who also had a strange, twisted smirk on his face similar to that of Trump ́s, stood up and spoke on the occurrence. ¨Yes, it is a pretty sad state of affairs when a witch hunt goes to such an extreme that it destroys the economy of a whole nation. “ A huge number of boos can be heard from the liberal section of the audience. “Well, I guess that shows how the ball bounces. You throw something at someone and it comes back and hits you!¨ Louder, harsher boos are heard at this remark. ¨It looks like lights out time for the US Federal Government for a while. I don´t have to worry, my salary is guaranteed until the next year!” The boos reach a frenzied crescendo from the left leaning section of the crowd. Security surrounds Johnson to safely help him out the back door.
Former President and present pain in the rectal área Donald ‘The Don’ Trump makes his way to the podium amidst wild cheering from his MAGA supporters. Hisses and boos emit from his detractors.
“Good day, my beautiful people!” He waits for the insane applause and cheering to stop. Änd believe you me, this is really a beautiful day indeed!” The cheering goes even louder. ¨Today the witch hunters and election stealers who wanted to ruin this country have ruined it themselves with their bogus, shame trials against me!¨ Cheering goes wild. Trump just soaks it all in like it was a massage from a cheap, Eastern European hooker. ¨Now those who sought to unseat me are unseated themselves. Poor babies!” The crowd eats it up. “This is God Himself, the only entity greater than me in the Universe, letting them know that their sewer is now drained!” Enthusiastic “Yaas!” sound out.
“Well, so it is. And because of this, I hereby announce that I will no longer seek to be the President of the United States!” A shocked gasp comes from the crowd. Trump milks it for a golden moment. “No, I will not be President of the United States, I Will be the Dictator of the United States. I will not be a part of a bunch of losers who allow the country to be bankrupted, even if I did do it myself. No, with your tremendous help and support, I will move the government out of Washington and down to Mar-A-Lago where I can better control things and where I have most of the classified documents anyway. It would be better fitting to someone of my supreme stature and more convenient.” Cheers emit again after a shocked silence.
“Of course, there will be a need for more sacrifice on your parts. I will need a lot of donations to get the business up and running again and, of course the expense of moving all my stuff back down to Mar-A-Lago, the rehiring of all my kids, getting back all my old cronies who didn’t betray me, executions of those who did and a few other expenses. How does that sound folks?”
Dead silence follows for a few moments. Then, slowly, a few hands begin to hesitantly clap, gradually building up but not quite achieving the level they had before.
“Ok, I knew you would be with me on this!” said a Trump whose own exuberance matched that of his fans’ earlier response. Unfortunately, he did not notice the lesser enthusiasm that now prevailed.
A new dawn for America had come. A lesser one it looks like………