(Please excuse the spacing- this was a real $%##^&*(#@$%^ to edit!)
(Also please excuse the lack of a photo- I don’t have the #$#%^#&$*% money to buy one!)
The Leader of our Country has decided
that he is being much too derided.
From the public he claims to represent
he faces ever increasing dissent.
The title ‘President’ is too thin for him,
so he has been taken by a very new whim
That he needs a new Title with a better ring
and demands that he be honored as our ‘King”.
There is never enough for our Lord
who wants ever more to hoard.
And since critics eternally do scold
he embarks on a plan quite bold
To change our ideal of Democracy
into something of an atrocity.
Presidents must bow to the wants
of those who throw him the taunts.
But a KING is a very other thing
who need not put up with such stings.
So he demands to be given a crown
to cover that he is really a clown
And such a thing we must for him fashion
to ease his dictatorial passion.
A crown most royal we shall make for him
much better than a red cap with a brim.
To appease his ego it would be seemlier
to make one that would match his demeanor.
We went to the wild for what it would yield
picked poison ivy from a forgotten field.
Then gathered branches from thorn roses abundant
and poison oak even though it was redundant.
Found black walnuts that will leave a stain
on the hairs that cover over his brain.
And as we onwards did amble
we came upon hordes of bramble
That a fine liner would make,
so with gloved hands we did partake.
To this menagerie must be put
various leaves, flowers and roots.
Toxic Foxglove we found in large clusters
and gathered all we could muster.
Added rose hip powder that itches
like something concocted by witches.
Then wrapped them in Monkshood so deadly
weaving in sharp Devil’s Club to complete the medley.
But, lastly, the truly ‘crowning’ touch
put in the ‘Crown of Thorns’ plant that adds so much.
(It might make him think he is like Jesus
which really then would quite please us!)
These we wove all into a head ornament
that would be the honor of any fine gent.
We told our Lord it was the finest from overseas
and was surely something that would please.
That even the highest of the well-off
would be happy to wear and show off.
We presented to our Lord as a gift
he placed it on his head and did sniff
“A finer crown has no man!
On my head it always will stand!”
“Now I am truly one of the greatest!
Of Kings I am surely the best!”
Indeed he was great in roles as such
despite being so way out of touch.
And nary did he any notice take
that this gift could possibly aggravate.
So we then left and hastened away
in case he did by notice sway
And there by order our lives to take
to gift a Crown so deadly a fake.
So this day passed into night, then another day
and never did he notice that something was astray.
He went on with his ramblings that was his main forte,
until mysteriously he passed away
And no one there was left to say
what would cause this tragic dismay
He ne’er discovered that his Crown of Triumph
was one that would end the Dynasty of Trump.