Beginning in August, AMC moviegoers across the country will be able to purchase 0.1-gram packets of premium cocaine — dubbed “Sniffties” — for $4 each. This is less than half of what the national chain charges for a large bucket of popcorn (more than $11).
In a Monday press conference, Adam Aron, the company’s CEO, acknowledged that many customers simply cannot afford AMC’s obscenely high-priced popcorn. “But fortunately, my son-in-law heads a major drug cartel in Bolivia, so we can provide discounted, high-quality coke to our loyal patrons.
“You will need to be at least 18 years old to buy Sniffties, but we don’t have a problem with folks making purchases for their kids, grandchildren, or siblings. One benefit of Sniffties is that a few snorts will help you enjoy even the crappiest of movies, and we certainly show more than our share of duds at AMC. I mean, did anyone see the new version of Snow White that Disney put out this year? Kill me now.”
Sniffties will come in four flavors: Sage and Chipotle for adults, as well as Cherry and Bubblegum for kids.
Would you like Coke with that?