“It’s time to pull all of these poison plants out of the ground by their roots,” President Donald J. Trump declared yesterday in the Oval Office. Specifically, he was referring to the words “diversity,” “equity,” and “inclusion.”
“Those nefarious terms threaten the very fabric of our great nation,” the President insisted. “Every time an innocent, blond-haired, blue-eyed American child is exposed to them, their little brain is infected with the corrupting toxin of left-wing radicalism. Eventually, it gets to a point where they think it’s okay for foreigners to eat dogs and cats in the finest food courts of our country’s shopping malls, and McDonald’s starts serving McSpaniels on toast.
“The D word, the E word, and the I word must be removed from the English language or our republic is doomed. Accordingly, I am issuing an Executive Order this afternoon, instructing the Merriam-Webster company to notify all of its readers that ‘diversity’, ‘equity’, and ‘inclusion’ have been retired.
“Together, let us Reclaim the Brain of America!”