1st Commandment- Thou shalt not have any other gods before me.
Netanyahu’s interpretation- Do not have any other gods before me. But remember that I support anything Netanyahu does to get rid of the Paestians that I created.
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2nd Commandment- Honor your parents.
Netanyahu- But remember that what I say trumps anything they say!
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3rd Commandment- Thou shall not kill.
Netanyahu- Thou shall not kill. Unless they are Palestinians and are on land that you want to take. Then go right ahead!
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4th Commandment- Do not covet your neighbor’s wife; do not commit adultery.
Netanyahu- Do not covet your neighbor’s wife, but if she is Palestinian, what the heck! Give her a ride. Then put her in a prison.
In addendum- “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
Netanyahu- You shall take your neighbors house, you shall imprison or kill his wife, kill his ox or donkey for food or just for the heck of it.
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5th Commandment- Honor the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.
Netanyahu- Consider stealing West Bank land, bombing Gaza, forcing starvation and random executions to be holy on that day.
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6th Commandment- Honor thy father and thy mother.
Netanyahu- Honor thy father and thy mother. Bring them home a bunch of Palestinian souvenirs!
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7th Commandment- Thou shalt not murder.
Netanyahu- Exemptions from this law include Palestinian adults, children, babies, livestock, pets, cousins, grandparents, in-laws and anyone wearing a checkered black and white kerchief or robe.
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8th Commandment- Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Netanyahu- Thou shalt not commit adultery. But if you get a Palestinian hottie trapped in a home you are taking or searching go for it!
The same is true for sexy Syrians, irresistible Iranian women or hot Houthies!
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9th Commandment- Thou shalt not steal.
Netanyahu- Anything found in Gaza, the West Bank or occupied Syria is finders-keepers!
If they left it behind, or if you confiscate their land or house- it is yours!
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10th Commandment- You shall not say false testimony against your neighbor.
Netanyahu- But then again the modern Jewish State in Israel is built upon made-up half-truths that are made to look like real truths.
