October, biggest return of stock market in 25 years. This Halloween, if you have a retirement plan, dress your kids as hedge fund managers.
There’s no point in wearing cologne for dining at an Indian restaurant, not even on a first date.
I wonder if vampires like women with varicose veins.
A traffic jam is simply a sign from the universe for you to tweet.
The awkward moment when you tell a guy friend he’s pretty and then sneeze. But you meant to say “pretty smart.”
Google +, really? Nothing says social networking more than using a math operator symbol. Can’t wait to invite my chess & computer fans.
Andrew Weiner wants leave for treatment. Not even shock therapy can cure stupidity.
If you really want to turn on a woman, send her a pic of your photoshopped bank account.
Sarah Palin says she has “fire in the belly” for a 2012 run. But her mind remains fire retardant.
Harold Camping announces new doomsday date, but says good time to buy in the stock market.