“The next FAKE ASSASSINATION DAY will be the greatest FAKE ASSASSINATION DAY ever staged. I can’t say much about it right now but Dean Cain will be playing my FBI bodyguard. We love Dean Cain. What a super man. Kid Rock and a cast of very white people will also be involved. Did I mention Dean Cain? We love Dean Cain. He will be playing my FBI bodyguard. What a super man he is. All further FAKE ASSASSINATION DAYS will be dedicated to the 1st lady. I call her that because I can’t remember her name. Did I mention Dean Cain? Windmills would be better if they were gold.” Donald Trump, maybe…

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