I think it is time for a drastic change in my life. For the past 59 years I have tried to be fair, courteous, honest, truthful and above all kind to my fellow man and woman. What, if anything, has this way of life given me? Well, to be truthful absolutely nothing. I still live week to week, paycheck to paycheck. So I thought it is time to get into politics, but on what platform.
THE FAIR PLAY FOR ALL PLATFORM
100% Employment. This will be easy to achieve. Anyone without a job will be deported.
No hospital charges. All hospitals will be closed, if you fall ill tough. Die or get well on your own.
Lower the prison populations. Let your family feed and clothe you. However, if you’ve murdered your family, you go naked and hungry.
In order to save our natural resources and lower people’s energy bills the national grid will be on from 7:00am till 5:00pm. All cars will be horse drawn between said hours thus saving our oil reserves. All vehicles will be governed to 25MPH.
Anyone no matter what age who is thinking of applying for public office will automatically be allowed and receive five draft deferments, more if needed during a time of conflict.
Same sex marriages will be permitted as long as they promise to be as miserable as all heterosexual marriages. Why should they be happy all the time!
All goods that the people require will be made in the USA. That way we can close Wall Street and open Walmarts.
All millionaires and billionaires will hand over all of their money to a central bank where it will be equally distributed amongst the general population. This will be the only bank in the nation, besides my Swiss account.
All elected officials will be paid for hours actually worked i.e. no show, no pay. All wages will be standardized, min $10.00 max $10.50 ph. Holidays included.
In the event of zombies actually becoming a reality, Kansas will be fenced off and used as a safe haven for the remainder of the populace.
A VOTE FOR ME IS A VOTE FOR MY BANK ACCOUNT!
This is a bogus public service announcement sponsored by the Law Firm of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe
The Tea Party is waiting for a fair candidate like you! I bet you could get votes from Bachmann and Parry supporters; they might like your platform (of course, you will have to read it to them)!
Reading to the tea party might be a little tricky. In our household I constantly ask my granddaughter to speak English to which she replies I do speak English. This is when I have to inform her that I am from England therefore I speak English and she is from America (Philadelphia PA) therefore she speaks Americanees. I would not, me thinks, stand a chance with the tea party. Or as General George S. Patton once said “two countries divided by a common language. 🙂
As his official campaign manager I completely endorse his bank accounts, eh, I mean his political platform.
You better endorse me or I will remove the link from our bank accounts. 🙁
There is something really scary about the fact that this platform almost looks reasonable. 😉
Kathy, Of course it looks reasonable like all good politicians it is there just to make me rich at everyone else’s expense and I will remember all those who voted for me. I will send you all a post card from some where nice warm and sunny. 🙂
Finally a platform I can get behind! May I add: All complainers will be de-barked.
Finally a platform I can get behind! May I also add: All complainers will be de-barked.
R.S. I will amend this oversight as soon as I take office. Thank You Sir. 🙂
Donna, I can work with that -5% how is that, sounds fair in my book. Okay so my book is warped what do you want from a brit. 🙂
Okay, I can’t agree to the 25 MPH speed limit. It cannot be done, but I will agree with everything else if I can have a piece of the Swiss bank account!