Here it is, part two in my ongoing series of life lessons I learned from the silver screen…

Check out this crew of straight-up dicks

Having kids is a horrible idea: All it takes is one viewing of the film adaptation of the classic Roald Dahl book CHARLIE & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (the one with Gene Wilder that’s actually named for Willy Wonka, not the one where Johnny Depp plays an albino pedophile) to learn that having kids is the wrong move. Why you ask? Because children are terrible people, as evidenced by the fact that Charlie was able to inherit an entire candy factory based purely on the merit of not being a total piece of shit. Yes, children are apparently so awful that Willy Wonka’s deciding process was essentially: “Well, every other kid here is a complete asshole, so I guess you’re the winner.”

TKKelly

TK Kelly is a writer and comic from New York, a graduate of USC’s Masters of Screenwriting program, and according to his grandmother, a generally delightful young man. His standup comedy has been described by many as an irreverent cross between Geraldo Rivera and the Bud Ice penguin. If he were forced at gunpoint to describe himself in one word, it would be a really weird hostage situation.

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Tags: charlie and the chocolate factory, comedy, funny, humor, movies