I am somewhat a loyal shopper. If I get good customer service, it’s rare I switch stores – especially grocery stores. However, a new market opened up close to my house, and I thought I would stop by and get a store club card so I could get the special discounts that those not in the club do not receive. What can I say? I love to be part of the “in” crowd. I think it’s some kind of post-traumatic stress left over from high school.
Anyway, I took a brand new cart into the brand new store, and looked forward to exploring what lay in the aisles ahead. The cart was so shiny and clean looking that I didn’t even need to use an antiseptic wipe before I gripped its handle. I had a good feeling about this store.
As I made my way through the produce section, the cart seemed to float effortlessly across the floor until I placed a watermelon in the basket. It was as if the watermelon punctured its lung because the cart emitted what sounded like a painful gasp, and then the noises began.
“Whirrrr…whirrrrr…cough…cough.”
“Really?” I thought. “The store is three hours old, and it already has a defective cart, and I am the shopper who gets it?”
I thought maybe the cart just needed to be used a bit to get out its kinks, so I pushed the cart, but the squealing noise only grew louder. The customers in the brand new store gave me disapproving looks blaming me for interrupting the quiet silence that the new store so far afforded. If the noise was not enough, one of the front wheels rebelled against the other three wheels and refused to work in unison with them which made it impossible for me to maneuver the cart left. I truly tried, but between the cart’s eardrum-killing squealing and my struggle to keep it straight, steering became an impossible feat. I gave it one quick jerk to straighten it out, and it did straighten out. Unfortunately, it straightened out right into a newly assembled display of nectarines. May I just say that nectarines do not react well to being jarred? One little push and they were all ready to jump off their pile.
I would like nothing better than to state that I stayed in the store and picked up the nectarines that crashed to the floor, but I didn’t. I did have enough decency to go over to the produce kid who was stacking bananas and tell him his nectarines were loose. However, I did not relay the fact that it was I who had set the fruit free.
I left the store without any food, but I still have my club card. Will I go back again? Maybe in a month or so. Does anyone know how often stores change their security feed? I don’t want to go back until I am no longer considered a “person of interest” in the nectarine caper. On a positive note, if I show the video to my regular supermarket, maybe they will give me a discount for screwing up the new store. Yes, that might work.
That’s a fascinating story. Don’t ask me why but It reminds me of the kid who had a sense of humor that wasn’t aligned correctly. He went into a new store, slipped on some nectarines and hey presto, he asked his folks to buy him a ‘Die Bon Jovi Die’ t-shirt!
And who is this mytery kid Bill? Who knew that kid and me had so much in common? 🙂
From one supermarket klutz to another: I salute you.
What I hate about supermarket carts:
1. I hate it when the carts are stuck together so tightly that you need a wedge to pry them apart.
2. I hate it when the only cart that you can pry loose has an already torn-up circular and someone’s dirty kleenex in it.
I agree Kathy. People are pigs. They can’t throw out a dirty tissue. Ick!
It’s not your fault — everyone knows you shouldn’t stack round objects and expect them to stay put! I bet someone is currently working on making nectarines in cubes, just like the eggs someone created a while back: http://www.thegreenhead.com/2006/10/egg-cuber-makes-square-eggs.php
wow, the people who need that gadget Mike are either neurotic to a fault or have too much time on their hands. I can’t tell which
You realize of course all this was captured on their surveillance cameras and they now have a profile of you as a disruptive agitator? 😉
I do and I have a feeling that at the GOP convention, they will put up that video and say, “See, this is what Obama creates!” And I will lose the election for Obama and my name will be smeared across social media and I will have to move to Croatia or someplace like that and I’m sorry, what did you say Larry? 🙂
Funny. Just this weekend at a ‘big box’ store, I was busy concocting a warning system that customers could use to warn other shoppers away from gremlin effected carts. Perhaps the old skull and cross bones sticker? And why is it that the carts never start acting up until you get too far from the front door to make it easy to switch? And my biggest question is who tangles those carts up at night like Christmas lights making it impossible to separate them? =)
All good quesions, Kim! The tangled carts are always a mystery. They seem as if they should pull apart quickly, but not even an Olympic weightlifter can pry them loose. Shopping is way too complicated. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!