I’ve managed to get myself a paid gig, writing an article for one of the most recognized websites on the planet. Don’t worry, I’m not using my own name and you won’t be forced to read it. There’s some pretty strict guidelines so there will be no profanity, no mocking of religion and no being myself. This isn’t bothering me as much as I thought it would and I’m kind of looking forward to the challenge. Having said that, the piece has to be written for a mainstream audience who place relevance on things like daytime television, corduroy suits and morals. I know, I know more about prohibited substances in horse racing than I do about any of that nonsense but they’re paying me in a recognized currency that’s recognized by banks. As is the case with the nonsense I come up with, the picture will be the focal point. Thinking of my target audience, I’ll be going with something like this:
I can't say I'm brilliant until I get this duct tape off my mouth!
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Tags: Bill Y, Bill Y Ledden, corduroy suits and morals. I know, humor, humour, I know more about prohibited substances in horse racing than I do about any of that nonsense but they're paying me in a recognized currency that's recognized by banks. As is the case with the nonsense, I'll be going with something like this, I'm not using my own name and you won't be forced to read it. There's some pretty strict guidelines so there will be no profanity, I've managed to get myself a paid gig, if you're a sheep, in a nice bold font, Like this shit, no mocking of religion and no being myself. This isn't bothering me as much as I thought it would and I'm kind of looking forward to the challenge. Having said that, over a random stock image, Soe inspirational bullshit, the picture will be the focal point. Thinking of my target audience, the piece has to be written for a mainstream audience who place relevance on things like daytime television, writing an article for one of the most recognized websites on the planet. Don't worry
Good luck with your new writing gig; when you’re famous, don’t forget the little people (I think they’re called Leprechauns
)!
Oh, and imagine your target audience with a bulleye as you write!
I reckon I’ll be okay if I imagine them with clothes on!
I’m one of those people who have some sort of anti-fame gene and am also one of those people who don’t forget people.
I am so proud of you! I know how hard it must be to conform this way, but currency is currency, so give it a go!
The only way I could convince myself that I wasn’t selling out was by writing this post!
You could always write it tongue-in-cheek. A lot of corduroy-wearing moral people who watch daytime television wouldn’t understand the irony, anyway.
Forgot to add:
I think you might have a massively interesting point. I’ve yet to meet one corduroy-wearing, moralistic, daytime television watcher who comes close to understanding irony. Thanks Kathy, I think you might have just sorted a major problem for me and
right back at you.