Why in the hell does she leave me vague voice-mail messages like that?
“We need to talk,” she says. “Call me.”
Is it that difficult to give me a little clue as to what we need to talk about? Are you dying? Are you going to have my baby? Was the comment to my nephew about your new boobs inappropriate? Do you want me to help you move for the fifth time in five years? Did you get fired again? Did the doctors finally figure out what was causing the rash on the bottom of your ass? Did you get in another fight with your downstairs neighbor about the dog pee that leaks through the floor? Are you thinking of buying something else you’ve seen on late night television? Are you wondering again if that African businessman, whom you never met, is really going to transfer five million dollars into your bank account? Is someone stalking you? Are you stalking someone? Do you want to stalk someone? Do you wish someone who was stalking you in the past would start stalking you again? How is it possible that I haven’t even talked to you and I’m already stressed out? Well you know what? Screw you. I’m not calling you back.
This reminds me of when the doctor’s office calls on a Friday afternoon and says they have your results back (we need to talk). That;s when I know that I have cancer, high cholesterol and probably diabetes, but can’t know for sure until Monday.
So true Liz. I would much rather them say, “Rich, YOU are going to die. If you’d like more info, give us a call on Monday. Have a great weekend!”
Yup, whether intended or not, when someone says “we need to talk” the recipient hears “you’ve done something wrong.” Great/funny post.
I think they need to at least switch it up every now and then and try something different. Maybe something like, “We need to screw. Call me.”
Just got back to the office and started to promote and I guess it hit home because this post is racking up reads.
Women are so wise. We need to learn a few of your tricks.
The women seem to think this is funny, but I know you are serious! Why do so many women (especially the younger generations) feel that this sentence actually says something useful and not infuriating?! If “we need to talk”, then start the conversation with enough content to allow a proper response!
Mike, I think we guys have a reputation for being easily distracted so this is a way for the ladies to get us to take immediate action and…oh shoot…I forgot where I was going with this. Sorry, a really large bird just flew by the window. Actually, it looked more like a chicken. Which reminds me, I need to stop by the store and pick up some eggs. So, what was I saying? Hmmm. Hey, what does that “post comment” button do?
Now I know why my husband freaks out when I say that to him. All I wanted to know is whether he prefers the green tile or the slightly greener tile. Very funny!
Well, I’ll answer for him. ANY green is good.:)
Funny!
Thanks Suzy. Something tells me that you think it’s funny because you’ve done this!