Though repeated accusations of malfeasance of varying degrees have been leveled at the federal government and the current administration of President Barack Obama lately, recent information has surfaced regarding what will undoubtedly become the most damning scandal yet. In fact, most Republican experts predict it will be “worse than Watergate”.
Interviews with former government officials have shed light on a United States Department of Defense initiative involving clandestine government satellites that are indeed surreptitiously orbiting the earth, constantly bombarding the earth with radio-frequency signals. These signals, which are conveniently invisible to ordinary citizens, are part of a decades-long program whose sole purpose is to precisely determine the location of moving targets on the globe.
These invisible communications would not be as chilling except that they have been shown, in a laboratory setting by experts in the field, to be not only capable of but indeed engaging in duplicitous background communication with your smartphone. Many people do not even know that their phone is tracking their every move with the help of the U.S. Department of Defense, but it’s absolutely as true as it is shocking! It’s a clear violation of the sacred instrument which you use to send emails, surf the web, and take pictures of your genitals. And it’s probably no coincidence that both President Bill Clinton and Vice President Al Gore were behind efforts to facilitate usage of this mysterious system by regular people, many of them also freedom-hating Democrats.
Recent suggestions that the government might know who you called and when simply pale in comparison to the fact that your very own phone is almost certainly systematically tracking your exact global position!