Stomach Flu Is The New Waterboarding

I am rocking day 3 of a nasty stomach flu. While I’ll spare you the gory and graphic details, I’ll tell you this much: It ain’t pretty. Oh, and in case you were wondering: I’m not doling out the oral chowder but making the poop soup. Gee, that was kind of a gory and graphic detail, wasn’t it? My bad.

As sick as I’ve been feeling, I feel worse for my toilet. The poor porcelain bastard has been begging for mercy. In fact, it thinks I’m torturing it. On day 2, it gave up the location of Osama Bin Laden’s watery grave and this morning it broke down and told me the river where Jimmy Hoffa currently resides.

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6 thoughts on “Stomach Flu Is The New Waterboarding”

  1. “Oral Chowder” Mario, since you’ve been writing for HumorOutcasts this is the first time you’ve actually succeeded in grossing ME out! Bravo! Feel better dude!

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