New Math Formula Points to the Size of a Man

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I’m not sure exactly how to segue gracefully into this topic, so I am just going to jump right in, and here it goes: It seems that researchers in South Korea have come up with a way to predict how large a man’s penis is without measuring it. I am sure that most everyone is familiar with the old wives tales that revolve around feet size, hands size and ear size, but guess what? None of these body parts have been proven by science to correlate to the size of that other body part.

However, for women and men in search of the perfect partner, there is still an indicator that can tell you ahead of time if a man is endowed or not. Now, this indicator requires not only keen observational skills but math skills as well. I will explain the math in basic terms because as many of you might know already, I am not a math whiz. In fact, my math acumen lies somewhere between first grade addition and subtraction and figuring out the 20 percent tips on restaurant checks. Throw in a phrase like differential equations and I pass out. If you are weak in math like me but still want to be good at penis-size prognostication, you might want to purchase a smart phone with a calculator just in case you can’t perform the necessary ratios and fractions in your head.

Okay, here it goes: First, you have to look at a man’s index finger and ring finger. Scientists in South Korea discovered that there is a relationship between the size of these two fingers and a man’s penis. You know, just as an aside, the scientists did their “research” on 20 men who were in the hospital undergoing surgery. If anyone else tried this “research” stuff, they would be arrested, but label it as science and it’s legitimate business.

Do you think the doctors were just hanging around in the break room talking about penis size and someone said aloud “Hey, we have warm bodies upstairs, let’s go have a look”? Do you think they got grants for this research? I would have loved to have been in the room when the research grant people decided to give this group a chunk of research money. I bet all the members of the grant board were men. On second thought, maybe they were all women. To be honest, I can’t tell who would benefit from this knowledge more.

Sorry, I got off the track. Here comes the math: In observing these men, the researchers discovered that the average length between the second and fourth finger was 0.38 inches – the actual measurements of the probably unconscious patients’ fingers ranged from 0.35 to 0.44 inches. When the researchers compared these finger lengths with penis size, they found the lower the digit ratio, the longer the penis was. So, what does this mean exactly? Well, if a man has a shorter index finger compared to the ring finger, then he most likely will have a greater stretched penile length. Those are the researcher’s words – not mine.

Okay, this might be a lot of scientific mumbo jumbo to absorb, so the best advice I can give women– or men — is to get a man to shake hands, hold hands, read his palms… whatever it takes for him to show you these two fingers. Then, in a non-obvious way, take out a measuring tape and measure those digits. Make a game out of it. If he thinks it’s kinky, he might want to show you all of his fingers. Finally, take out your smart phone calculator and plug in the numbers. Figure out the ratio, and if you get a low ratio between the two fingers, you know you might be having a good time later on that night.

Is this measurement method without flaws? No. What happens if a man is missing a finger or two or what happens if he has a broken hand and some of his fingers are hidden beneath a cast? There are all things that can go wrong and lead to a gross inaccuracy in measurements. I guess if you have the measuring tape out and if no one is looking, you can just measure the real deal and forget the math calculations. Call me old-fashioned, and while the direct approach might eliminate the need for rounding up numbers, it is a bit on the crass side not to mention it would take away the element of surprise.

Photo from degzydelg

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23 thoughts on “New Math Formula Points to the Size of a Man”

  1. I had heard that it was supposed to be twice the size of the thumb (so much easier to measure even mentally), but I haven’t had the opportunity to test it. Can you just imagine the guys being tested though? After they had their fingers measured, they were probably told to drop their drawers. I would have loved to have seen their eyes widen on that one. “What did we sign up for?”

  2. I was wondering what Mae was wondering. “Hey guys, we’re doing a survey and um, can you watch this short video and drop your pants please?”

  3. Now, what intrigues me is how the researchers urm.. inflated the penises of the subjects. And if the correlation isn’t between fingers and inflated penises then who the heck cares coz that’s the only time they matter!

    1. Apparently, the men were in for some urological surgery – not penis related so maybe they do something to penises during that surgery? I don’t know Mae, I just write the stuff. LOL

  4. Some researchers have too much time on their hands.

    There is a good pun in there somewhere. I invite anyone to put it into words.

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