I’m pretty hot if you’re turned on by poor social skills and excellent grammar.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 11, 2013
How to have fun like a 1-year-old: 1) Get out every toy you own. 2) Ignore them all. 3) Play in the garbage.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 11, 2013
I stay motivated by focusing on what I truly love, so on my desk at work I have a picture of myself.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 11, 2013
Every day I leave out bread crumbs for the deer that lives in the woods behind my office. When he’s tame enough, I’ll ride him to freedom.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 11, 2013
One of my daughters put the other one in a choke hold. I was upset because I taught her better than that. Her technique was all wrong.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 11, 2013