Today’s brave new world needs some new vocabulary words | HumorOutcasts

Today’s brave new world needs some new vocabulary words

March 15, 2017
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It’s hard to comprehend, but an orange-faced reality-TV star is now POTUS (inspiring the acronym SCROTUS—so-called ruler of the U.S.). It’s an unprecedented (unpresidented?) era in American history, and it calls for a whole new vernacular. As #45 himself has declared, “I know words. I have the best words.” Well, here are a few more, inspired by his so-called administration:

Alternative flacks—Lying PR spokespeople

Bannonization—The act by which someone with no experience or credentials is given special status to be on the National Security Council

Conwayversion therapy—Psychological treatment or spiritual counseling to change a straight-shooter into someone with an alternative-facts lifestyle

Deplorabull—The unbelievable crap spewed by DJT supporters

Encrapsulate—To express the essential features of something in succinct terms relating to feces, as in, “The confirmation of Betsy DuVos as Secretary of Education is encrapsulated in one word: bullshit.”

Extrumporanus—When the president completely fabricates or invents something on the fly/without preparation; i.e., pulls it out of his ass

Exxonerate—To release someone from an obligation if it benefits fossil-fuel producers’ interests, as in “Secretary of State Tillerson may exxonerate Russia from U.S.-imposed sanctions so the company that made him a multimillionaire can profit further” (see also “mobileyes”)

Feminix’em—To put an end to or cancel women’s rights, as in, “When it comes to women who speak out about equal pay for equal work, many GOP men would like to feminix’em.”

Filibastard—Any U.S. senator who votes to do away with the filibuster

Flynnflam—Deception about having illegal private conversations with a foreign government, as former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn apparently did when he discussed U.S. sanctions against Russia with that country’s ambassador to the United States during the months before #45 took office

Gilt-ridden—The current president’s approach to home décor

Grabbadocio—Boastful or arrogant behavior about grabbing women by the pussy

Hamiltongue—The ability to rap eloquently about American history. Also: Hamiltongue-lashing—What the cast of the Broadway show respectfully gave the vice president when he attended a performance.

Manipeople—DJT’s version of the proverbial “they,” as in “Manipeople are saying…”

Medicrap—What seniors may be left with if the GOP guts Medicare

Melaniate—To transform oneself from a soft-porn model into FLOTUS

Mobileyes—The viewing of situations or opportunities through the lens of a major oil company, as in “Secretary of State Tillerson may have mobileyes for lifting U.S. sanctions against Russia” (also see “exxonerate”)

Mythogyny (mythogynistic)—A hatred of widely held but false beliefs or ideas, as in “Most intelligent people are mythogynistic toward fake news”

Narcischism—A split or division between how normal people perceive a narcissist and how the narcissist perceives him/herself

Nordstrump—To badmouth a company on social media only to have its stock price and sales rise

Obtwitterate—To destroy someone’s reputation, image or credibility (including one’s own) by tweeting stupid stuff

Polindrome—A politician who’s equally dishonest and hypocritical whether he’s coming or going

Pomposhitty—A vain or ostentatious display of importance by someone who’s a piece of crap

Putinesca—Trump’s favorite red sauce

Radical Icelandic terroirism—The extreme characteristic taste and flavor imparted to a wine that’s produced in Iceland

Rigged erection—The use of erectile drugs or a penis pump to induce a hard-on; may be more common among men (like #45) who use Propecia, a hair-loss drug associated with impotence

Schadenfriday—A feeling of enjoyment that comes from seeing or hearing about the troubles of other people that occur on a Friday, thereby ruining their weekend

Unrepensive (variation: unrepencive)—Showing no regret for taking away women’s reproductive rights

White supremasshat—A white supremacist who is a stupid or contemptible person (probably redundant)

So, what do you think? Will any of these words make it into your vocabulary? Got some new words of your own to suggest? While you’re thinking about it, here’s this week’s haiku:

Navigating this
brave new world requires that you
have a way with words.

Read more of my humor here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roxanne Jones

Roxanne Jones blogs at www.boomerhaiku.com, a mostly light-hearted, often irreverent look at life as a baby boomer, 17 syllables at a time. When she’s not tapping out haikus, she’s a freelance medical copywriter, enjoys chardonnay and contemplates plastic surgery to get rid of the wattle on her neck.

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6 Responses to Today’s brave new world needs some new vocabulary words

  1. March 17, 2017 at 6:45 pm

    To say that the guy who now inhabits the White House is an idiot is an insult to idiots everywhere.

    • March 18, 2017 at 7:57 am

      I couldn’t agree more, Kathy!

  2. March 16, 2017 at 8:26 am

    We need a whole new dictionary for this time!

    • March 16, 2017 at 8:41 am

      And it’s being added to at an alarming rate!

  3. March 15, 2017 at 3:16 pm

    SCROTUM – so called ruler of ‘Murica.

    • March 15, 2017 at 3:48 pm

      But that gives ball sacs a bad name, don’tcha think?



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