Blog Archives

Nazi Muff-Diving: It Could’ve Happened Here

June 11, 2017
By

With summer comes beach reading, and a by-product of the season’s lower intellectual standards is that one’s literary risk-reward ratio expands exponentially, the way pole vaulting records were shattered by quantum leaps when athletes abandoned aluminum…

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Ask Senor Besame-Mucho

June 10, 2017
By

The women of America suffer from a lack of passion in their lovers, the phlegmatic sons of Angles, many of which are 90 degrees, and Saxons, so stolid in their romancing. It is for this…

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New Drug Cocktail Offers Hope for Joe Cocker Imitators

June 9, 2017
By

DOWNER’S GROVE, Illinois.  Marian Busby was thinking the dinner in a private room at L’Endive, a new restaurant in this suburb of Chicago, was going swimmingly until tragedy struck.  “I was basically being interviewed for…

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Senior Circuit Gives NASCAR Fans More Crash for Their Cash

June 8, 2017
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SPRINGFIELD, Missouri.  In this fast-growing city in Southwest Missouri, stock car racing ranks among the most popular televised sports, frequently beating major league baseball and college football in weekend Neilsen ratings.  “It goes back to the moonshiners in…

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My Sordid Role in the Birth of Fake News

June 7, 2017
By

It was the late 1960s, and Americans had begun to doubt the truth of the news that was spoon-fed to them by compliant media outlets.  “Body count” became the measure of success in the Vietnam…

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For One Professor, Dylan’s Recognition Spurs Late-in-Life Dream

June 6, 2017
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CLARKSTON, Minnesota.  Professor Willard Clesko has been a fixture at Drover College here for nearly three decades, a fact of which he is simultaneously proud and a bit chagrined.  “I’ve had a long and rewarding…

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Literal-Minded Women, and the Men Who Love Them

June 5, 2017
By

There was, above all the others, Nora.  Because of our shared history of kidding around, I could make her break up across a conference room just by lifting an eyebrow at the right moment in…

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Great Places to Hide Fat

June 3, 2017
By

According to study conducted at England’s world-famous University of Oxford, it’s healthy to have a big butt.  All I can say is, it took a team of top-flite researchers led by somebody named Konstantinos Manolopoulos to…

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Fat Kids in Heaven at MLB Overweight Pitchers Camp

June 2, 2017
By

WORCESTER, Mass.  There are still hockey and basketball games to be played this year, but for most kids in New England it’s baseball season, even if the ground is still too soggy to play in…

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Ed Reform Pays Off as US Students Score 100% on Phone Charging Test

June 1, 2017
By

NEW PLAISTED, Illinois.  It’s the last day of classes, so Kimberly Fantin can be excused if she has a smile on her face as she greets her mother Joni outside Phil Esposito Middle School in…

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