Purpose of Church | HumorOutcasts

Purpose of Church

April 30, 2011
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What is the purpose of Church anyway?
Does going to church create any positive impact upon the world?

To show God that you have at least one set of nice clothes?
Couldn’t God just take a peek into your closet anyway? And what good does having nice clothes help your worship of God? I’m still trying to figure out why God needs us to worship him. I still love my dog, and while he really likes when I put food in his bowl and when I take him for a walk, I wouldn’t say that he “worships” me. And I’m cool with that. He’s just a dog. He may or may not remember being abused and he doesn’t know that animal shelters can’t keep all animals forever. He can’t comprehend that I “saved” him. Hey, I’m just like Jesus to him. He’s a pretty good dog, but he does dig in the yard and get his paws muddy a lot. He’d probably have pre-marital sex with some bitches, too, if he could. But I would never burn him for eternity over any of that.

Keep in touch, maintain sense of community?
Ever heard of a block party? And I actually recognize some of those people.

To help charitable causes?
I can’t imagine what is actually contributed to charities after all of the overhead. And that’s even counting contributions with “strings attached”. Do you consider going drinking at a bar and tossing your remaining change at the end of the night into a “Fight Leukemia” jar to be an efficient way to donate your money to that charity? It would be both easier and more effective to contribute to a charity directly. Not to mention that you have more control over that targeted contribution. I assume that a huge portion of the weekly offering goes for rent, salaries, utilities, etc. for a building mainly used once a week. And you thought it was a waste that Chick-Fil-A isn’t open on Sundays.

Sacrifice?
I’ve heard it once mentioned that it is a “sacrifice” of your time. I guess since God doesn’t seem to want burnt goats anymore. That seems pretty ridiculous since you could actually be doing something a lot more constructive with your hour than going through a repetitive sequence of sitting, standing, and kneeling. Besides, they’ve got the Wii Fit for that now.

Eric Hetvile

Wanted in 14 states. But those states suck, anyway.

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2 Responses to Purpose of Church

  1. May 8, 2011 at 10:14 am

    It IS a block party scheduled every week (without alcohol, but there’s good stuff to eat)! I’m off to play with my friends pretty soon. You’re right — it isn’t cheap, but no good party is!

  2. April 30, 2011 at 7:38 am

    You don’t know this answer? If you don’t go to church every week and take communion and give in your envelope you go to hell. Jesus gets really ticked if you use your Sundays for other things. This is sarcasm because the man was the biggest hippie going and didn’t believe in churches and formality, but they try and make us forget that. Oh, and don’t forget the freaking envelope because if you don’t build up their trust fund, they won’t let you have your funeral there. But, it’s not about money.



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