A woman who had not eaten an In-N-Out burger for eight years literally cried after taking her first bite of a “double-double” at a grand opening for the burger chain in Texas. I am astounded by this woman’s commitment to her burger. I am pretty sure there is not a meat product out there that can bring me to tears.
That being said, I do understand this woman’s emotional turmoil. Even though my tears might not flow for the same reasons as hers, I can empathize with her need to cry. I have cried tears of joy– mostly after really good sex, and I have cried tears of anguish—mostly after really bad sex.
As I think about this further, I am going to change my stance here. I will still cry after sex, but I don’t understand how someone gets so emotional over a dead cow unless of course, you are mourning the dead cow. I cannot comprehend how eating a certain food can elicit such over-the-top feelings. If I was a shrink, I would say that this burger was an emotional substitute for something missing in her life – probably, the good sex that drives me to tears.
Then again, who am I to judge? I can drool thinking about an ice cream sundae or a large pizza with mushrooms. Yes, I can literally lose my ability to speak as I watch the pizza guy dole out the slices to other customers while I wait in line to get mine. But tears – I don’t think so.
If In-N-Out Burger was smart, they would hire this woman and build a national advertising campaign around her and her love for their burgers. Pay her a huge salary so she can cry on demand. She could go to each restaurant opening and shed tears of jubiliation just as they cut the ribbon. Yes, this woman is a public relations treasure!
I wonder how much money they would pay her. Now that I think about it, I could cry for that burger. I could sob and even get my nose to run. I could cry so hard that I would make those little out of breath noises that sound like I’m trying to suck in air. Yes, I could do this, In-N-OutBurger. Have your people call my people. We can make things happen.