10. Instead of family game nights, your family has Game Film Fridays.
9. Your 5 year-old has already undergone ACL surgery.
8. You have been red carded – by a 12 year-old sideline ref – for taunting.
7. When your kid scores a goal, your choreographed celebration dance offends even Steve Johnson and Chad Ochocinco.
6. You are not legally allowed within 50 yards of the coach.
5. You’ve screamed, “Center it!”, “Attack the ball!” and “Sweet!” so much you’ve had to contact Adele’s vocal chord surgeon
4. You practice bicycle kicks during halftime in a pathetic attempt to show off decades-old high school moves but instead appear more like Napoleon Dynamite fighting off bees.
3. Game day, you bring a cowbell.
2. Even the really religious parents have called you a douche behind your back
1. Your name is – well, I won’t say it here – but you know who you are.
I love my kids, but am glad soccer’s behind me. I did most of the work and everyone got a trophy but me.
yup, my daughter plays travel soccer and the parents are really intense, i of course, am an angel! 😉
We all have out moments — but some of these people… for godsakes…
I loved this one. I can see you running up and down those sidelines. THe image is making me giggle. 🙂
I coach a 3rd and 4th grade co-ed team soccer team and had a parent walk over and start yelling at me during a game. I took his little princess out of the game because shoved a boy. He had a stop watch and was keeping track of every kid’s minutes to seconds.
I’ve seen those red cards up close and it isn’t a pretty scene!
I think they say ‘go to hell’ on the back of them.