Wood Yew? (A Coppicial L’eaves-dropping)

Wood yew?
I’m knot that board.  Butt, Gingerwood.

Ahhh . . . already popped yew’r knothole, huh?
Could bee I like my studs aged.

Hey, I’m knot that green!
Too soft to split oak, I wood stake.  I doubt yew’ve even got fir!

Well . . . I’ve tapped my share of maples!
Oh, so that makes yew some big logger?

Don’t yew worry, I–I’ve done my share of lumberjacking!
Heh!  I wood bet yew wood knot know sap from soft gum!

May bee knot! Butt at least I know butt joining from tongue & groove!
Yew know, yew’re really warped!

May bee so!  Butt, I know how to treat a fine old piece like yew!  How ’bout a nice, slow rub?
Wood yew knot prefer to split that tart young cherry over there?

Nah, even I know once yew notch a cherry, yew’re lookin’ at rings before yew know it! Besides, I’m a chestnut!
What?  So yew think I’m gonna just let yew strip and drill me?  I’m knot some gangplank, yew know!

We could date, first.  I do spruce up pretty nice–yew wood be surprised!
Date?  Yew take me for some kinda nut?

Well, we awl need a little trim, now and then!  Afraid yew’ll get burned?
Yew know, it just may take more than yew’ve got! It ain’t no job for butternuts!

Hey! I’m no punk!  And for yew’r information, I come from a loooog line of deep rooters! I go waaaay deeper than yew can tell just by lookin’!
Yew don’t say?  No . . . wham, bam . . . boo?

(Wispful Reconnoitering )

Wood yew?
‘Til yew can knot stand!

Promise to give it to me against the grain?
Thought yew wood never ask!

I want yew to grind me ’til yew smell smoke!
No problem! I packed a truck!

Got any tong oil?