Bride Kidnapping Expert

Thirsty Dave asks Scurvy Jane to marry him, 67.83 times a day. Scurvy’s answer is always a defiant “I’d rather eat 65 medium-sized magnets and attach myself to a fridge than marry you, you good for nothing thirsty animal”. The thirsty one, rightly so, interprets this in such a way as to mean, she is not going to marry him. Now, most people would take the hint but Thirsty Dave has a mind that does not deal in any sort of conventional logic at all. Last night he called Russell Kleinbach to ask for his help:

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6 thoughts on “Bride Kidnapping Expert”

  1. This has an interesting back story: In the Kyrgyz Republic it is an old “custom” to perform a bridal “grab and run”. This practice has been increasing in popularity (primarily from the male perspective) until Kleinbach used a Fulbright scholarship to try to educate the Kyrgyz (say that three times quickly!) children, with apparent success.
    For more, see

  2. I’m confused — does he kidnap women to become someone’s bride OR does he kidnap brides that someone else wants? Does Russell work out of the public library?

  3. If I meet a man who is very rich, totally hot and single, do you think I could get him to hire this guy to kidnap me?

    1. I know he calls himself an expert but we don’t know how many brides this guy has actually kidnapped. For all we know, he’s probably only kidnapped a couple of bridesmaids.

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