I had a rough day yesterday. I write a certain blog for a Very Large Newspaper, and while it wouldn’t be professional of me to go into details, I can boil down what happened for you in what we journalists like to call “fairly unbiased terms”:
1) Something happened at the newspaper which might or might not have been either a popular or unpopular decision;
2) There might have been some people (or possibly not) who objected very strenuously to that decision, or possibly they didn’t.
Anyway, as the public face of the blog that was affected by this decision which may or may not have been made, I might have received at least some of the heat for this thing (or possibly I did not, but I can neither confirm nor deny that), and it occurred to me that what I needed to get me through these kinds of days were some good daily affirmations. The kind of affirmations that would remind me why I became a writer. The kind of affirmations that would totally justify talking to myself in the mirror in the first place.
So I came up with a short list of positive sayings for bloggers like me. Most of us here are writer. Feel free to use them if you like. These are best said in the heat of the battle while at work, although I will caution you to make sure that you retire to a place where you can have some privacy, like the boiler room, because what could happen is that the Director of Human Resources might pass by while you are talking to yourself in that mirror and he or she might re-evaluate your annual review. Not that I would know.
Now that you have found yourself a
bunker airshaft supply closet comfortable place to recite your affirmations, assume a relaxed position, take a deep, cleansing breath and have at it.
Here, without further ado, are my:
Daily Affirmations For Busy Bloggers
1. I am talented. I am an artist. I am also a large bag of internal organs and leftover pizza.
2. Every day that I am able to publicly state my opinion in a way that makes people laugh or think is a blessing. It is proof that I am alive. It is also written proof of my waning control over my faculties.
3. Typos and factual errors are the Universe’s way of reminding me that I am human. I accept my fallibility with humility and absolutely no sense of shame. The people who laugh at me and post those mistakes on Facebook and Twitter, however, can rot in hell.
4. I am aware of the impact that my words have on others. I resolve to no longer sneak such nasty, twisted hidden messages about avenging the death of my parakeet into my posts.
5. I send my words out into the world on a tidal wave of love and good will. My words cover people with a thick, heavy coat of well-being, which is to my ultimate advantage because it slows them down and makes them easier to capture.
There. Don’t we all feel better now?