If You Want The Perfect Night’s Sleep, You Need To Eat and Go To Bed Earlier | HumorOutcasts

If You Want The Perfect Night’s Sleep, You Need To Eat and Go To Bed Earlier

March 5, 2012
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There are some who claim to always get a perfect night of sleep.

I am not one of those people, as you will know if you’ve ever followed me on Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/MinutesofMayhem), or visited my site (http://www.minutesofmayhem.com) and deduced the amount of time I spend generally NOT sleeping.

You are most likely not one of those people, either.  We should start a gang, and go around punching these people. Kinda like an “Expendables”, where we’re Stallone and Statham, and well-rested people are Eric Roberts.  Anyway….

2,000 of those people were surveyed to figure out the average routine they follow to get such perfect nights of sleep. Those bastards. Here’s the result;

You should finish eating dinner by 8:29 PM, which gives you time to digest.

Don’t drink anything after 9:10 PM, or you can ruin your night of sleep by going pee.

After dinner, make sure you do something relaxing, like watching TV.

Get into bed EXACTLY at 10:00 PM, wearing comfortable pyjamas.

Spend 20 minutes reading.

Turn off the light and you should fall asleep at 10:26 PM.

If everything went right, you shouldn’t wake up until your alarm goes off at 6:47 AM.

And there you have it, the perfect night’s sleep.

Now, all you have to do is figure out how to convince people that you’re not a complete loser for going to bed, before the news.

Neal Mayhem

Radio idiot, b-o-o-b lover, disgust causer

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2 Responses to If You Want The Perfect Night’s Sleep, You Need To Eat and Go To Bed Earlier

  1. Ted Thomas
    March 5, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    Gee, they want you to stay awake till 10 pm?

  2. March 5, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    First of all, I have often noticed that YOU DO NOT SLEEP EVER! A freaking six hour time difference and you are awake the same hours I am. How is that possible? Second:All these steps sound like a lot of work.I just rely on Advil PM or Jack Daniels.Seems to work for me.



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