Jesus: Our poll numbers are not looking good. People all over the world are gradually giving up on us.
God: That’s ridiculous! After all we’ve done for them? Sure, I like to fuck shit up with tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis, volcanoes, widespread famine and poverty… but what are ya gonna do? My Planet, My Rules.
Jesus: I think we need some miracles or something. To bring the people back toward us.
God: What do you have in mind?
Jesus: Well, Haiti is really fucked up still. We could fix that.
God: (Yawn) What else?
Jesus: Africa is a total clusterfuck. Genocides and all…
God: Booooriiiiinnggg.
Jesus: Iraq? Afghanistan?
God: Lame.
Jesus: We could move a mountain like we talked about in the bible… Remember how faith is supposed to be able to move mountains? Then people would surely believe!
God: I’ve got it! Remember that Jim Tebow fella? Plays for the Nuggets…
Jesus: You mean Tim Tebow. He plays for the Broncos. Football. What about him?
God: Right, football. Let’s make him win a playoff game and make him throw for 316 yards. Get it? Like Luke 3:16!
Jesus: You mean John 3:16.
God: Whatever. The one that says I totally rule.
Jesus: Actually that one says…never mind. But wouldn’t people just see that as a mild coincidence? I mean, the guy wins the Heisman Trophy and a couple of National Championships. It’s not like’s Richard Simmons. And 316 yards is good, but not something that anyone would deem a miracle. I don’t think anyone would even notice…
God: It’s so cute how you overestimate them!
Subtle but effective. Even better would have been a thunderbolt splitting the goal posts in Red Sea fashion as Broncos receiver Demaryius Thomas scored the winning points in OT
Exactly. Meet us half way, God.
I hadn’t noticed this until you mentioned this. I don’t follow the NFL since they don’t have a team in Kansas City! Oh, the Chiefs CLAIM to be an NFL team, but…
Letters, you are going to letters, lots and lots of letters. LOL But just in case you don’t get letters, try not to have any stopovers in the Denver airport.