I am a guest poster on this site. I gratefully accepted an invitation from the site’s owner, to contribute occasional posts in the name of spreading humour to the masses, beyond the realms of the insanity that is my own site.
However, even with that in mind, and with full intention of being respectful to the completely unenforced, yet still very natural and obvious editorial pecking order, I could not resist the temptation to bring you this good news myself.
This is huge, people. And I cannot contain this knowledge any longer.
Scientists have figured out a way for men to live longer.
Yes, it’s time to drag that magnum out of the fridge, put it on ice, and allow yourself a congratulatory puff on that 3-year-old Cuban.
Oh, wait. Let’s not be too hasty. Perhaps it was remiss of me not to mention the predictable ‘but’ attached to this revelation. And it’s a big one: you have to cut your nuts off.
Inha University’s scientists over in South Korea have studied the genealogy records of ancient Korea, and found that men who were castrated as eunuchs lived an average of 14 to 19 years longer than men who got to keep their testes.
The researchers believe it’s tied to how little testosterone men produce after they’re castrated. Which helps men live longer.
Of course, you could argue that a life without balls is way worse than an early death, anyway. In which case, it’s an absolute honour to have you reading this, Anderson Cooper.
Source: Eunuch study
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I’m no doctor, or sociologist, but they live longer because the lack of testosterone keeps them from doing the crazy things that testosterone makes dudes want to do, things chicks are less likely to do. @Rich, thank you for mentioning “pocket pool”. Just last night I learned something about the difference between men’s and women’s pockets that I scribbled down so that I could write about it on my blog. I won’t reveal how I made this discovery, but it was a revelation! I now have the proper terminology, thanks to you! Amazing coincidence!
This is a castrat-rophic solution! Count me out.
#1 that is the grossest picture! LOL #2 why do men want to live longer without them? Aren’t they the reason for your entire being?
I played pocket-pool a few times this morning, to see if I still had any emotional attachment to my balls. And yes, I do. So…the knife is back in the drawer. I will keep them for now. You’re good, though. You almost got me.