When Criminals Go Stupid

I am a bit worried about today’s criminals. They are no longer the dashing, yet sympathetic figures one used to see in movies or on the news for that matter.  At one time, those opposed to following the letter of the law displayed some intelligence or at the very least some charm. Yes, they took pride in their work.  However, lately, evidence is mounting that few criminals care about how they represent their chosen profession.

Case in point: a female bank robber walked into a Chicago bank at approximately 5:00 PM.  She then handed the teller a note which read:

“Give me all your money; no cops; no dye packs.”  One would think upon reading the note that this robber knew what she was doing, but the teller thought she should test out the robber’s expertise and responded,

“You will have to come back tomorrow as the bank is closed.”

Yes, I swear that is what she said.  Now, a bank robber with even a modicum of experience might have looked at the teller and said any of the following,

“I don’t care that the bank is closed; hand over the money.”  OR “Who asked you if the bank was open or closed? Get me the cash.” OR “Do you want me to shoot you?”

But not this robber. No, this robber took the teller at her word and left the bank.  The surprised teller was then able to inform the police of the almost stick up.  Okay, let’s say we cut this bank robber some slack and say that maybe the bank teller was telling the truth and there was no time to give her money or maybe the robber wasn’t “feeling” the robbery this particular day and decided to call it off.

Both of these excuses seem plausible, but what is not plausible is that two hours prior to this escapade, the female robber and her boyfriend were loitering around the bank and were caught loitering on the bank’s security video, and to make matters worse, the police and the bank employees recognized the boyfriend as the guy who robbed the bank two weeks before.  I know people have a comfort zone in how and where they do their job, but wouldn’t it have been more prudent for this dynamic duo to seek their ill begotten fortunes in another neighborhood or at least another bank?

Well, much to the chagrin of the would-be robber and her already-robber boyfriend, the police were able to track them down. Granted, this was not that difficult as I believe my blind and now dead dog could have tracked these geniuses down with the trail they left, but they are behind bars and the city of Chicago, once famous for being the hub of organized crime and masterfully planned robberies, can now rest knowing that at least these two fine fugitives are in the pokey or at least a home for the incredibly stupid where they belong.