When Dorms Are Like Palaces

Yes, the Princeton Review’s top college rankings includes schools with “Dorms Like Palaces”. Hold the tiara and armor. Before you squeeze on the glass slipper or buy a white horse, it’s best to beware of college castle-dwelling surprises. Royal dorms aren’t what they’re cracked up to be. Sure, on the surface there’s that stuffy elegance that screams “cul-cha”,  but one must always consider the drawbacks…

Crown Jewels

There are no crowns in college (unless you decide to to loosen a bottle cap with your teeth) and there are no jewels. Bummer.


Don’t be fooled. Royal dorms are less than authentic as there are no moats on campus.


Heads up college women–The only ladies-in-waiting are your roommates waiting for you to put on your mascara so you all can hit a frat party. Speed it up.

Royal Crests

Maybe your family’s got lineage, but chances are your only crest is gonna be toothpaste.


You can call it a dungeon, but when push comes to shove, it’s still only a basement. There, the only prisoners are the ones doing laundry.

Royal Suitors

Sure, spending your days roaming about the palace for royal suitors will increase your chances of getting a title, but that title is likely to be “unemployed”. Rule your own monarchy and study.

Love, Mom

Reprinted from College Bound and Gagged: How To Get Your Kid Into A Great College Without Losing Your Savings, Your Relationship, or Your Mind. © 2011 Nancy Berk, Ph.D.



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2 thoughts on “When Dorms Are Like Palaces”

  1. Sounds like she got the better deal as long as she didn’t fall out of bed when the roommate returned. Thinking you’re in a king when it’s only a twin, can be dangerous. She gets the tiara for this one.

  2. In my daughter’s sophomore year, her roommate went to live with her boyfriend so that left my daughter with two twin beds in a spacious room for a dorm, so she made a king sized bed out of the twins and did make a palace out of her space. I was amazed and a bit jealous. Of course, every time the roommate’s parents came to visit, the girl came back to “live” and the beds became twins again. LOL

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