I was always an odd kid. When I was about 11 years old I was attending Catholic grade school. I was a loner and very analytical. I particularly paid close attention to the stories that people told. This included stories from the Bible.
One day I decided that the story of Adam and Eve didn’t seem quite right. I expressed my concerns to the nun in charge of my class. After her convulsions I was promptly sent to the priest guidance counselor.
Although there may be more than one account of the story of Adam and Eve in Abrahamic faiths, the familiar one states that God created Adam in the Garden of Eden and gave him total dominion over everything. After some time went by God noticed that it was not good that Adam was alone. Therefore, He then created Eve by causing a deep sleep to fall onto Adam to subsequently take out one of Adam’s ribs.
The counseling session between the priest and my eleven-year-old self went something like this:
Me: “Father, Adam was created first, correct? I mean, a woman hadn’t been invented yet, right? So, was Adam at that point really a man?”
Priest: “What do you mean my son?”
Me: “Well, if Adam was created single and alone with no woman around did he have parts? I mean, you know, did he have boy parts? …and if he did, for what?”
Priest: “I am not sure where you are going with these bizarre questions.”
Me: “Well, it’s kinda like the dude who designed the electrical outlet. I doubt he designed the plug first, and then decided the plug was no good by itself, and then designed the socket. No, the plug and the socket had to be designed together as a working system to connect wires. I mean, why would Adam have the ability to fertilize if there was no woman with no egg? The only way this story works is if Adam had no sexuality at first. Then, a partner was created and they both were given the ability to have kids.”
Priest (after a prolonged blank stare): “Maybe that’s what happened. It is not our place to ask such questions. The Lord works in mysterious ways.”
On my way out of the office the priest gave me a blessing. He probably felt I needed it. I was one goofy kid.