There are a lot of children’s books out there trying to teach the little tykes valuable lessons. Sure it’s important to learn to share and where to poop and all, but I think today’s children need books that tell it like it is. We’re not doing them any favors with all these cutesy, sugar-coated life lessons. Let’s keep it real. Here are some children’s books your kids should be reading:
“When You’re A Little Boy Trapped In A Little Girl’s Body”
“Why Daddy Likes To Wear Mommy’s Clothes”
“Supplement Your Allowance & Find Financial Freedom: Learn Mommy’s PIN Number”
“Mommy and Daddy Hit You Because You Deserve It”
“The Guide for the Pre-School Homosexual by Bert and Ernie”
“The Guide for the Pre-School Lesbian by Peppermint Patty and Marcy”
“There Really Is A Monster Under Your Bed & Other Secrets Mommy and Daddy Aren’t Telling You”
“Mr. Hooper Didn’t Move To The Suburbs To Live With His Daughter. He’s Dead”
“Why You Look Like The Gardener and Not Daddy”
“Talk to Strangers, They’re More Interesting”
“Daddy’s Never Coming Back And It’s All Your Fault”
“Finger Painting With Poo: Turn Your Doody Into A Masterpiece”
“Curious George Took A Trip to the City And Is No Longer Curious”
“Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hits A Ho’”
I was brought up on fairy tales like “The Bible” and “The check is in the post – somebody else’s post” and that’s what shaped the unadjusted half-person you don’t see before you now so I’m totally with you on this!
Thanks, Bill! Appreciate the support.
Ah the best children’s titles for the modern era! So funny!
Thanks, Donna! Though I don’t see Disney making a movie out of any of them anytime soon.