I don’t know why I watch The Doctors. They have so many disgusting segments on their show, accompanied by lots of warnings, like, “What you are about to see will cause you to projectile vomit.”
Wait. That’s not right. That’s just how I interpret their warnings.
Anyway, on the day they discussed flying feces, I curled my lip, but I paid attention. Who wants feces flying through the house?
Apparently, after somebody poops, a flushing toilet sends microscopic feces onto carpeting, hardwood floors, magazines – anything that sits next to the toilet. But the velocity of the flush can send that disgusting poop into rooms hundreds of miles away.
I could be exaggerating, but what bothered me was my obsession with the gap that exists between the lid and the toilet seat. Does putting down the toilet seat really prevent every poop particle from evacuating the toilet?
As a result of my disgust, I have invented flushable toilet skirts that wrap around the toilet seat, come with their own flushable gloves, and a flushable reverse fan that sucks everything back into the toilet.
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