Sethghazi – The Scandal of the Oscars?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!

It’s Sethghazi! The internets is teeming with horrified reports! No, not that Zero Dark Thirty is a joint Hollywood-CIA production that is more domestic PSYOPS than entertainment. No, NOT the rallying around the movie musical Chicago –from ten years ago, that no one cares about, no one is talking about – because it was produced by the guys producing the Oscars. No, it was the host that somehow went beyond the usual awkward imbalance of celebrating and embarrassing a self-indulgent industry in the same show.

Breaking news: White Feminist Female Misses Point, Offended! The Deadline Hollywood lady lorded over a live Oscar night evisceration, sounding like an old man in the balcony that really needed to pee. Nikki Fink, you are a lost cause – you can’t go back and repeat 6th grade at your age without being bullied, so how’s it go, waking up every morning, clutching your pearls, struggling to remain relevant despite being constantly wrong? If Brett Easton Ellis smoking you out of the secret location of your proto-Dalek installation weren’t so entertaining, everything about you would just be sad.  When you’ve been physically grafted onto a computer of some kind so as to fulfill your destiny of exterminating what tiny sliver of civility might still exist in Hollywood and make a real-life Hunger Games– and our eventual wholesale demise as both a culture and a species– perhaps then you’ll get your comeuppance for riding powerful people’s dicks like Seth’s into notoriety. Also, please quit your day job.

Imagine having to play court jester for 4 hours of self-congratulatory liberal propaganda, for a bunch of people who are – thanks to their looks and luck – living in a bubble of adoration. Imagine playing satirical personae spouting ironic truisms coming out with a boobs song and filling in the blanks of the super earnest, self-righteous Gatsby style bacchanalia, and rather than folks saying –  yes! Yes! Leading ladies *have* to whip their tits out to get the plum roles! Thanks for having the balls to say that out loud in front of a a billion people,  you are eviscerated as a misogynistic frat boy,  a steaming pile of awful thoughts from the most warped, regressive assholish mind in American history! A spiraling toilet of ironic sexism for fun and profit! Misogyny personified, boiling over into a level of woman-hating that had been till now undiscovered by Science, the Higgs Boson of misogyny! The Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Sarah Palin’s lady parts, the crucifixion and, sure, Hitler! And worse, imagine being held personally responsible for future DEATHS OF WOMENZ!  Because you *gasp*, made JOKES… about WOMEN! And that’s unacceptable, why won’t someone do some thing against him? Why did they allow him to spread his filth, oh the humanity!

There was a dig at George Clooney via 9-year old Quvenzhané Wallis. Translation: Simple math indicates that Clooney doesn’t date women older than 25. I guess adding 9 + 16 – math is hard!  Oh no! I just insulted women by insinuating they can’t do basic maths! The Fake Outrage Machine (FOM) will make this comment go viral ! ARE WE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE FUN OF GEORGE CLOONEY NOW?

It’s interesting how many of these “Seth Macfarlane is a misogynist” complaints emit the actual context of that “boobs” song. If this song is an example of misogyny, then why the need to leave out or misrepresent so much context to try and make that point?  I believe it was presented as a joke about fat Captain Kirk coming from the future to warn Seth against doing something dumb and terrible that had gotten him exactly the kind of bad press that he’s ironically getting now….right? Isn’t the whole idea of the song that it’s puerile and stupid – exactly the kind of thing the hand wringers were worried he’d do?  Instead of acknowledging the existence of satire and parody, critics way of describing the joke is as if she went to see “Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life” and came out declaring that the Pythons are all staunch anti-abortion Catholics who truly believe “every sperm is sacred” because there’s an outrageous song with that title in the film.

There’s a really, really complicated idea there, of a joke being on the perpetrator, not the victim, putting a vulgar ironic twist on everyday situations without actually condoning the action. Does the scolding tone of indignant, unevolved ’90s feminism really say boobs are off limits? Is it the “comfort” of paternalistic protection or the roughness and freedom of equality? No, really. What about missing the entire point? That’s the joke. The intended point is that the joke is squarely on Seth MacFarlane himself, purposefully focussing on actresses’ cleavage at his own expense in intentionally the wrong situation. Awesome feigning such offense from an industry built on the exploitation of women and minorities. But the FOM must keep moving. Doesn’t matter the context, the FOM is a full time job nowadays. Here we are again. Some old FOM’s reactionary, mainstream not thought out opinions.

Furthermore, surely women who demand big bucks for taking their tops off, profiting from their jugs, are letting down the feminist cause? Merely making a self-effacingly puerile but utterly harmless joke about boobs – it’s just breasts – the humor of which lies in Hollywood’s thinly veiled justification of nudity in the name of ‘art’? What if it had been a song about male actors getting their dicks out there – would that be more or less immature or inappropriate? The boob song was a perfect example of highlighting how Hollywood exploits women in movies by having them nude just to pander to the lower echelon of society. Remember, behind every exposed big screen boob is a little man clutching his little gold man who didn’t insist that the tits get put away.

Sweet Jesus, people, I can think of a dozen media outlets off the top of my head that make a living out of degrading female celebrities by discussing their weight, clothing, cleavage etc… I’ve heard far far more misogynist hateful things on episodes of that loathsome Two and a Half Men.  And that’s the number one show for god fearing middle America by a landslide. But, The “Academy” holds itself to a very high standard. The Oscars, last I checked, were watched by something like a billion people worldwide. The planet sure loves American movies!