Tax Advice

It’s almost that time of year again – tax time. Yup, that dreaded time where you crunch the numbers and find out that you owe $300 that you don’t have. Unfortunately, you don’t have gambling losses to declare and you can’t deduct a security deposit box that you don’t own. It might be worth a try, but good luck pulling off the claim that you’re The Church Of Saint Mattress.

So you’re stuck paying, right?

Nope. Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re gonna drive down to Goodwill and grab the nastiest, most weather-beaten couch you can find. Your best bet is to look out front, where items not protected from the elements are left to die. You’re going to pay $30 for this couch and drive it back home. But you’ll leave it in the car.

Why? Because the next day you’re gonna drive back to Goodwill and donate said couch. It is IMPERATIVE that you get the form saying that you donated the sofa.

You now have proof that you made a charitable donation. And what is its Estimated Value? That’s right: $330. Just to be safe and cover your tracks you’ll want to go to Fred Meyers and snap a photo of a sofa.

Don’t feel bad about not paying any taxes – that’s still more than many large corporations pay. Romney and his Richie-rich buddies use all sorts of deductions to pay around 13% on their millions, and they don’t walk around feeling guilty. So neither should you. Just think of Goodwill as being your own poor-man’s tax haven.

We borrowed a form of government from the Greeks. We might as well borrow their approach to paying taxes as well. It’s working quite well for Greece at the moment.

You’re welcome.