The Case For Cautious Optimism

Yesterday I researched the requirements to be in the House Of Representatives. We’re all thinking the same thing – how did we get these guys who resemble plastic surgeons who fatally botch an operation and later are found to not have a medical license?

Yup, America is like a butt that just got injected with industrial-grade silicon.

Here’s the requirements for being elected to The House:

1) You must be at least 25 years old.

2) You must have been a US citizen for the past seven years.

3) At the time of the election you must live in the state you represent.

Getting a driver’s license requires more than that. In his pre-fame days, John Wayne Gacy could’ve represented Iowa. If people had said “That guy’s a total clown” they would’ve been right. But if he’d run in 2010 on a platform of “Not being a DC insider” he could have gotten elected. Fortunately, he’d have been a poor fundraiser because he was dead. But other guys from 2010 didn’t have those problems.

But that’s what makes government in America so interesting and exciting. With low entrance-requirements, it’s very easy to pick representatives who (like the frat guys in Animal House) later say: “Hey, you fucked up – you trusted us.”

I’m no Constitutional scholar like Obama (I’m more like Bush, with a background in borderline alcoholism). But I think our system is this flexible so we don’t end up ruled by a permanent elite – but that means we get duds if we let our guard down.

Just before the financial crisis hit, some guy in my Portland neighborhood bought one of those plastic banners used to advertise Bud Light. He strung it across the front of his house, a worn-down dwelling that looked even worse than mine, which is saying something. And it read “Home Mortgage Loans”.

What happens when standards are this low? Billy-Bob’s Affordable Home Mortgage Emporium blew up because he had no idea what the hell he was doing. But now, everyone knows not to get their mortgage from a dilapidated shack in a residential area.

Someday we’ll laugh about the 2013 House. We’ll learn to not go there again–until the next time.

Another interesting item emerged from my research:

Under the 14^th Amendment: “A federal or state officer who takes the requisite oath to support the Constitution, but later engages in rebellion or aids the enemies of the US, is disqualified from becoming a representative.”

I’d say that applies here.