You’ve heard of The Good News; well here’s The Bad News. The Creation Museum in Kentucky is running into financial difficulties. In its opening year the museum pulled in 400,000 visitors. But last year it only attracted 250,000.
In what can only be described as a perfect example of irony, the problem seems to be that the exhibits at the museum are not changing or evolving. Thus, the museum offers little to attract repeat visitors. To address this, the museum recently installed a zip-line and some sky-bridges to entice visitors.
What do these have to do with Creationism? Good question, to which the answer is “nothing.” So, what the museum really needs are fun new exhibits that also teach visitors about episodes from the Bible.
They should try these new exhibits:
The Red Sea Water Park:
All kids love water parks. So picture a big pool where the water parts as you walk through it. You put on a toga, grab a staff, and strut through two enormous, frothing walls of water. Totes cool.
The Bush Exhibit
This will be a hit among teenage boys, because they love to burn stuff. As a kid I loved soaking a tennis ball in gasoline, lighting it, and kicking it down the street. So picture this: your son straps on a flamethrower and torches a bush from a safe distance. And then the bush talks back in a booming, God-like voice, saying something like “Study hard and clean up your room.”
The Mary Exhibit
This one will draw seriously big crowds, guaranteed. Because how many brothers would love the chance to pull one over on their teenage sister? As someone who grew up with three older sisters, I can tell you – it’s all of them.
In this exhibit your sister stands in a designated spot. And you, the tormented little brother, step up to a console and press a big red button.
Bam! Your sister is instantly pregnant. And you can just smile and shout “Dude, that was totally immaculate!”
Yup, these new things sound like a lot more fun than staring at some vegetarian dinosaur.
What about an exhibit where you wife turns into a pillar of salt? One where your enemy gets a plague of boils?
How about a 3-D Noah’s ark ride or the zipline over the bowels of hell. They could be winners too! I love how you think!
I thought for a minute there that you were going to suggest using the older sister in a re-enactment of the scene of the woman caught in adultery, complete with people ready to throw rocks at her!