My daughters turn 1 and 3 this weekend. It’ll be 48 solid hours of cake, glitter, and princess dresses. Do me a favor and avenge my death.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 18, 2013
I’m invited to a wedding where a suit and black tie are required. The invite didn’t say anything about footwear. I plan to wear rollerblades
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 18, 2013
Science has proven birds are a branch of dinosaurs. Now every time I eat chicken, I think, “I bet this tastes just like a stegosaurus.”
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 18, 2013
Women worry about the wrong physical attributes. Men don’t care if you have a thigh gap as long as there’s a vagina in there somewhere
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 18, 2013
We bought my 3 year old her first bike. She managed to tip it over even though it’s on training wheels. She drives like her mother.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 18, 2013
Wait until your girls turn 13 and then I want to see those tweets! Oh, and it’s nice to know thigh gap is not an issue! 🙂
I’m not sure if I’d rather have princess dresses or teenage angst.
And I seriously had to Google “thigh gap” to figure out what it was when I heard someone talking about it. The only people who judge women by such an arbitrary standard are other women.